Monday, May 25, 2009

Land of the Free, and Home of the Brave

A while back, NYC started an initiative to give out free condoms (in terrifically designed packaging) in places where those crazy kids might be.  To be honest, I've only ever seen them in a huge fishbowl at the Steve Madden store, and at my gynecologist's office.  I always grab handfuls,  throw them in my bag and proceed to never use them.**  Ocassionally I'll send one to an out of town friend-just for laughs.  As I mentioned, the packaging is quite attractive.

So I wonder-does anyone ever use the free condom?  

To my delight, I discovered, yes they do!  As I walked home from work the other day, i was greeted with the joyous sign of used condom packaging lying in the gutter-leading me to believe that once again, New York City, the land of free condoms, is the place I belong. 

**This is not because I never have sex.  It is because my very large and virile sex partners doubt the quality of the free condom.  

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Carnival Confirmation I

It's not so much that I question that I live inside a carnival, but rather that in specifics moments the world chooses to confirm this.  For example,  I was coming home  today from physical therapy (that wonderful mix of pleasure and pain)  and I run into a pony on West 3rd St.  No reason.  Just ya know.. a pony*.  And her keeper.  

More examples to follow. Stay tuned.  

*Horses are not rare in New York City, and are typically employed either in the tourism industry (carriages) or as civil servants (police force).  But a pony, in a setting that clearly was neither a petting zoo nor a birthday party, lends confusion.  As it was hanging out by the bars, I can only infer that it was of legal drinking age in the Great State of New York.

Monday, May 4, 2009

The Future, and Some Ear Wiggling

Part of me had the idea of making this an impersonal blog.. more like a Magazine Column.  But.. there have been a few serious changes around here that are worth noting, as they will certainly influence future postings.

1. I got into grad school!  Haha Ivy League, you thought you could keep me out, succeeded in undergrad, but I'm back... to shake you up and show you how to rock and roll!

2.  I painted one wall of my kitchen was I thought was "too bright a blue" but, now that we have been living with one another for a while (sized each other up, sniffed like dogs), is actually "perfect for my kitchen blue."   

3. Taxi drivers have some strange obsession with my sister and me.   They are apt to look at us while she's driving her car around the city, and... choose a piece of their anatomy.  For example , just last week,  a driver looked at us squarely, and stuck out his tongue repeatedly.  The week before, another chose to wiggle his ears.  I do not pretend to understand this.  Maybe it's code.  Maybe it's an invitation.  Or maybe, just maybe... they actually rule the world.  And show their power by wiggling noses at young, innocent, helpless gorgeous young women.  Yes, it must be that.