"My loves!" it began "Thank you so much for letting me stay on your couch, as enveloping as an oyster shell, and for your unending pools of love, in which I was permitted to dip my feet and wiggle my toes. For the joy of your fantastic bohemian life you have allowed me to swim in, and the men serenading alcohol outside your window, hidden beneath the flowering treetops, like a monkey, just below the canopy. Do not forget I have left you a George Forman Grill, facilitating the tantalizing paninis of your deepest and most secret dreams. I shall return soon, from the cold and mundane world into your cove of the beautiful and absurd."
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**Parts of this letter have been changed for literary effect, while others in fact, are direct quotes.